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Sex in college. Sexual consent and how to avoid sexual abuse.

Avoid Sexual assault cases by obtaining verbal consent to avoid misunderstanding.

Sexual assault is a growing problem in colleges and there is great effort to educate students to obtain consent before trying to have sex with someone, be it in a party where people are drunk or in your apartment when no one else is there.

However, there is a lot of confusion about the issue of consent to sex. Many people have different definitions of what amounts to consent and how they interpret what their partner says or does to constitute consent.

There is the tradition that men are viewed as the sexually aggressive partners and the initiators of sex while women are the more conservative partners.

Sexual Assault is defined as non consensual sex obtained through force or threat of force, verbal coercion or intoxication. This is a big problem especially among college students and it is estimated that between 15% to 40% of college women have experienced sexual assault or rape. More than 90% of sexual assaults in college are perpetrated by person known to the victim.

Since sexual assault is engaging in sex without consent of your partner, then what exactly is Sexual Consent and how is it communicated to the other partner?

Sexual consent is defined as a freely given agreement to engage in sexual activity. Studies have found that many students indicate their consent mostly by non-verbal cues like not saying no, not refusing the other persons advances and sometimes by making eye contact. Many other students indicate their consent verbally by saying yes when the partner asks for sex or saying yes if the partner asks to get a condom.

Men are more likely to use non verbal cues to consent to sex while women are more likely to consent to sex verbally in response to being asked for sex. These differences between men and women may be due to traditions where men are seen as sexual initiators while women are the one who decide if sex will take place by either saying yes or no.

Men and women also have different perceptions of sexual consent. Men often perceive sex to be consensual compared to women.

It is also true that college students interpret their partners consent mostly using non verbal cues like kissing, making out, eye contact etc. Since many students interpret their partners sexual consent non verbally, there may be times when confusion arises and someone interprets a non verbal cue as consent while their partner did not actually think they were giving consent to sex.

On the issue of Oral Sex, most men expect that women will perform oral sex on them if there is consent. They don't expect the reverse, them performing oral sex on the woman.

Males also tended to be more Physically aggressive to their partner when asking for sex. This is not the case for women.

Some men also used deceptive behavior to obtain sex, or consent for sex. Some men would just start having sex and if the woman objects, they would say it was by mistake. That it was too late to stop and other deceptive behavior like that. Most women would not use deceptive methods to obtain sex from a man.

All these things discussed can often lead to misunderstanding where a man thinks that consent is given while the woman does not and this can lead to sexual assault charges. So there needs to be better education to bring the expectations of Men and Women to a more even plane so as to avoid any misunderstandings.

Men should not use force or deceptive behavior to obtain sex and they should as much as possible try to obtain sexual consent verbally.