international student life

international student

Dating for international Students:

Just Dating, Going Steady, Being Exclusive, Sexual Harrassment and Assault, Culture differences, Online Dating and more.

Most International students live in a foreign countries for several years pursuing their education. All these years away from your friends and family can make you lonely. You may therefore decide to find a new special friend, or bff (best friend forever).

It's not uncommon to find international students dating in a foreign country. Many of them however find it difficult and confusing due to cultural differences.

There are a few things an International Student needs to know about dating in the US. Nothing major, mostly common sense things.

If you are a man and ask a girl out for a date and she agrees, this doesn't mean she wants to have sex with you. She just wants to go out to a club, restaurant or wherever, have fun and get to know you. Therefore, just go out , talk to her, try to know her and have fun. Also remember that she agreed to go out with you, so she may like you and you may get lucky, you never know.

People in the US usually date several people at the same time until they find a person they really like. So if a person is dating you, or even slept with you, that doesn't mean they cannot date other people. If that happens to you, don't get angry. Just let it go and try dating other people too.

You will hear dating terms like "Just dating", "Going Steady" or "Being exclusive". When someone is "Just dating", that means they will go out with as many people as they like, even sleep with them but are not attached to any one of them. If two people are "Going Steady" or "Being exclusive", that means they have decided to see each other only and not see anybody else.

The concept of "Just Dating" is sometimes difficult for some international students who don't understand why a girl or boy (but mostly girl, in a male chauvinistic way), would want to date other people while still dating them.

Another dating concept that confuse many International students is the issue of "Loving someone" and "Being in love with someone". In normal English language, these two statements seem to mean the same, but in the US dating world, they mean two different things.

If a girl tells you that she "Loves you" but is "Not in love with you", that means that while she likes you as a person and can be your friend, she does not want to sleep with you. If that happens to you, don't get confused or angry. Take it as a learning experience. You'll get over it in no time.

Sexual Assault and Harassment is a very serious charge that can land you in jail and eventually get deported. An international student needs to be very careful Not to put himself in a situation where they can be accused of sexual assault. Imagine you go out to a nightclub with your lady friend, get drunk (or wasted as they say) and then come back home and try to have sex with her without her approval. Alcohol may have impaired your judgment but this is still sexual assault. If she press charges, you will be in serious trouble. Therefore, avoid such situations at all times. If a girl says No, then it is No. Just walk away, take a cold shower and you will be fine. The same is true the other way round too. If someone wants you and you don't want them, just say No, and they should not bother you.

If you're an international student coming from a socially conservative country, you may be surprised to see people freely express their sexuality. In the US, people are free to express their love for one another in public. They call it PDA, or Public Display of Affection. You'll see people hugging and kissing in public. This may surprise you at first, but it's accepted behavior and you'll get used to it soon. Try not to stare at people engaging in PDA, otherwise they may think you are strange.

In many countries, it's rare to see same-sex couples in public. Some countries even have death penalty for homosexuals. In the U.S. however, they respect individual rights and this extends to gay dating too. Gay people have the right to date just like straight people and they do it openly. So if you are a Gay International student, don't fear to date another Gay person and show it in public. On the other hand, if the very idea of homosexuality revolts you, try to respect Gay peoples' rights and don't make any derogatory comments about them. It's best you keep away from them if they make you uncomfortable.

Online dating is another phenomenon you will encounter as an International student. In many other countries, people look down on online dating, viewing it as "bad" or as a result of "desperation". You'll often hear people say: "Are you not good enough to find a partner on your own instead of finding someone on the internet?" This kind of negative attitude makes people fear to find dates online, and if they do, they hide it.

Online dating is a very good way to find dates if done right. Just make sure you are safe. When you meet someone online, make sure to communicate for a while by email and phone before meeting them in person. And when you meet them, go to a safe public place like a restaurant or coffee shop. There are many free and paid online dating sites. The best free ones include Craigslist and PlentyofFish Check them out. You may find a good date, or even a life partner.

Lastly, try to have fun while dating and just be yourself. You should date many people until you get someone that you like and that likes you too. As the saying goes, a girl will kiss many frogs before they get their prince.




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